Eye of the Tiger

 

Hello football fans!!! 

The Iowa Bowl Picture

I’ve read every single article, listened to every single idiot on the radio, and talked to everybody I can on this (so…my brother Daron) and the only thing I can figure out is:  It’s all speculation where Iowa is going to go.  Oh sure – there are things we know for shizzle that we want to happen, and things we DON’T want to happen.  But when it comes down to it, the only people that know how this is going to go are the Director of the Fiesta Bowl and his mistress.

I, myself, have no better feeling that we’ll be in the Fiesta Bowl or Capital One – only that it will be one of the two.

—–

If Texas Wins

As far as who goes to a BCS bowl, it appears that there’s a 49.5% it will be Iowa, a 49.5% chance it will be Penn State, and a 1% chance of “something else” happening.  The Fiesta won’t pick either 12-0 TCU or 12-0 Boise State with their first pick (assuming that Boise State can sneak by 45 point underdog New Mexico State this weekend).  Why?  Because that would leave them susceptible to getting stuck with the dreaded NON-BCS vs. NON-BCS bowl match-up of TCU/Boise State.  This would also be the exact same re-match of the Poinsettia Bowl last year – a bowl that didn’t exactly get a lion-share of TV ratings.

So IF Texas wins, it’s up to the Fiesta whether or not they pick Iowa or Penn State.

I don’t feel that I have to write anything on why Iowa deserves that spot over Penn State.  In fact, if there’s some Penn State blogger equivalent of me…I don’t think that person could either.  BUT…I was glad to see Kirk Ferentz campaign for his team at yesterday’s press conference.

But the Fiesta Bowl reps live in the same real world that we all live in, which unfortunately means they also know that Penn State and JoePa have more of a name-brand than Iowa and Ferentz do.  Damn it all.

If it’s between Iowa and Penn State – I’m calling this 50/50.

 

If Nebraska Wins

We’re 99% out.  I’m not even going to attempt to decipher this one.  I’m only going to say that we’re not 100% out of the running of a BCS bowl if Nebraska pulls off the upset.  The Orange Bowl could still pick us, or we could play Nebraska in the Fiesta Bowl.

However, the chances of all of that happening are about the same chances of Tiger Woods getting a BJ from his wife in the next 3 weeks.

—–

Who to Cheer For This Weekend:

Texas               (#1 team to root for and it’s not even close.)

Florida             (To block the possibility of a Fla-‘Bama BCS re-match.)

New Mexico St            (Because an a Ia-Boise St match-up isnt ideal.)

——————–

60’s not old…for a tree

My dad turned 60 on Tuesday.  Hard to believe, as he doesn’t look a day over 59.  Just kidding pops (he reads this thing too).  Anyway – my dad is still the man and will have that going for him for a long time, a la Clint Eastwood in “Gran Torino”.

Jim Eastwood?

(And dad…the help/plumbing products installing your hot water heater last weekend was your gift…and the above is your card.  Enjoy.  Happy Birthday!)

——————–

AKA: ‘Cheetah’ Woods

It ain’t football related – but I HAVE TO comment on this whole Tiger Woods thing.

Are you enjoying this as much as I am?  Maybe I’m sad.  Maybe I’m just jealous, and maybe this points out my own insecurities.  Maybe it’s because I always mutter “hurumph-hurumph…bullshit” under my breathe when I see the (doing the quotations with my both of my middle/index fingers) “Perfect Couple”.

It might also have a lot to do with the girls up here – and seemingly everywhere – that believe the easy path to happiness goes straight through a rich man.

I don’t know.  I just know that this…is….AWESOME!  And the fact that she chased him down WITH A GOLF CLUB?!?  Hahahahaaaaaa!  You could bottle up the irony and sell it cheap it’s so abundant!

And have you heard the Tiger voicemail to one of his chicks trying to get her to change her outgoing message?!?  Absolute instant classic.  He wasn’t TIGER WOODS on that voicemail, he was just another husband scared of what his wife was capable of (hit play on middle left side of screen):

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/sports/dpgo-120209-Tiger-Woods-voicemail1259765950733

Maybe he was scared of this:

Next time...use a driver

And did you hear that they’re kicking Tiger off the Ryder Cup Team?  Seems they’re tired of Tiger getting his ass kicked by Europeans!

———-

Darone Buch’s 2009 Tailgating Awards:

 

First Beer Drank at New Tailgate Spot Award

Dick Galligan & Daron Buch, who packed a cooler to reserve our spots two weeks before the first game

The Bruce Waigle Master Griller Award

Bruce Waigle, winning this award is as surprising as Brooks & Dunn winning the award for best country duo

Coolest Freakin’ Move of the Year Award

Gary “Petey” Peter, for giving his Michigan ticket to Andy Volz free of charge

Most Unexpected Appearance Award

Andy Becker, who came to pick up his drunk son-in-law, only to fall ass first into a free ticket, free parking spot, and extra clothes all within about 4 minutes 

Most Directionally Challenged/Drunk Award

Kal Goodchild, who asked my mom on the way home from the Iowa-Michigan game, “Now, we’re on 380, right?”

Somehow Avoiding all Rules for the Time/Space Continuim Award, part I

Heath Wessling, who was denied entry minutes before the Iowa-Michigan game yet was in BWW before kickoff

Somehow Avoiding all Rules for the Time/Space Continuim Award, part II

Jim Buch, who drove from Keystone to the Menard’s in CR, back to Keystone, installed a water pump, and drove to Iowa City all under 1 hour and 36 minutes

Entertainer of the Year

Zedman

Jackasses of the Year Award

The idiots who sit right behind us who whine and yell, “Get hiiiiiiiim”

Best Impression of the Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart Award

Chris who sits in front of us:

Chris rulz

Most Drunk of the Year Award

Eric Shaeffer, who lost his balance multiple times while playing washers 

Too Old to Even Play Flag Football Award

Jeff Hartz, who tore a bicep and therefore was unable to even attend a real football game due to his participating in a fake football game award 

Most Consistent Chick Tailgater Award

Cathy Buch, who is this award what the sun is to coming up in the morning

Most Homoerotic Move of the Year Award

Jeff Buch and Matt Zediker, who danced together than shared an embarrasingly awkward white guy bro hug aftwards

Cutest Tailgater of the Year Award and its Not Even Fucking Close

Landree JoAnne Buch (hey, if you want your kid to receive this award make up your own awards)

Food of the Year Award

Dick Galligan, who beats Cathy Buch for this award in a monumental upset.  Hey, if you bring ribs to multiple tailgates you win.  Why has this never been done before?!?!

Longest Drive After Coaching Softball Award while Your House Gets Broken Into Award

Jodee Junge, who got a free parking spot but just two hours before the Michigan game but was missing a pair of jeans after she got back

Least Amount of Time Spent at Tailgates Despite Going to Three Games Award

Kelly Buch, who gets a pass because she’s my wife and I live with her and because she brought the Cutest Tailgater to our tailgates 

Barney Junge Award for Least Planning but Somehow it All Worked Out in the End Award

Doug Buch, who lucked into two free tickets after the start of the Northwestern game

Doug Buch Award for Most Shit Talked Even Though he Only Went to One Tailgate Award

Barney Junge, who talked shit to Darin Andresen seconds after he got out of his car

Most Shit Talked to Somebody for Being Late even Though he is Always One of the Last to Show

Darin Andresen, who talked to shit to me at the one game he beat me to this year

Best Hair Award

Fred

Most Pissed Off Tailgater Award

Colin Buch, who was IRATE that Hawks got beat by Northwestern.  He even commented to a fat, disinterested Hardee’s worker the next day that “The Hawks would have won if Stanzi wouldn’t have got hurt.”

Most Dominating Washer Tandem

Daron Buch and Darin Andresen, whose dominance this year was unparalleled. 

Better than her Spouse at Washers Even Though She’s Never Played Award

Jenny Hartz, who was far superior to her one-armed husband 

Tailgaters Most Likely to be Denied Re-Entry into the US if they went to Mexico

Jeff Hartz and Derrick Becker 

Best Parking Lot Attendent who is a 6-4 Lesbian

The 6-4 Lesbian who cleared way for my wife to park when her spot was taken 

Most Embarrassing Moment of the Year Award, part I

Jeff Buch, who thought it would be a great idea to take the whole bottle of booze and try to pour a shot down his throat only to realize the cap wasn’t on 

Most Embarrassing Moment of the Year Award, part II

Jeff Buch, who insisted repeatedly that December 1st was the day the immediately followed October 30th

(By the way, parts I and II came about 10 minutes apart)

——————–

Recruiting

We got TE CJ Fiedorowics and I can’t explain how awesome that is.  He is rated as either the #1 or #2 TE on most recruiting sites.  Rivals bumped Iowa’s recruiting class from 32^nd to 23^rd after landing this prospect.

I guess CR Wash RB Andre Dawson committed to Nebraska.  They can have him.  All reports I’ve received on this guy is that he is lazy and doesn’t fit the Hawkeye mold.

——————–

Week 14 “Precarious Predictions”

YTD Record       56-54-2  (Over .500!  What a battle back!)

Last Week               7-3 

 

Big Ten

Wisconsin @ Hawaii

10:30 PM / ESPN2 / Line: Bucky by 12.5

I don’t like this game for the Big Ten; Wiscy better take this game very, very seriously…or it may play itself right outta the Outback Bowl.

Bucky covers.

 

Around the Country:

Thursday

#16 Oregon St @ #7 Oregon

8:00 PM / ESPN / Line: Ducks by 9.5

If they’re not calling this “The Civil War of the Roses”…they should be.  (Because it’s always called ‘The Civil War’ and the winner goes to the Rose Bowl, btw.)  I would say this is without a doubt the best regular season Thursday college football game that’s ever been played.

Oregon is getting too much love.  They got all of their pub after destroying USC on Halloween night.  That win does not look all that impressive now.  They turned right around and gave up 51 points (and lost) to Stanford.  Then 21 points to a horrible Arizona State team, and then 41 points while squeaking out a win against Arizona.  These guys are living life on the edge.

Meanwhile, Oregon State has won 4 in a row and giving up an average of 16 points a game.

I don’t like that it’s in the ‘Zoo, but…

Beavers + the points.

Saturday

‘DeFacto’ Big East Championship

#5 Cincinnati @ #15 Pittsburgh

11:00 AM / ABC / Line: Cincy by 3

Is Pittsburgh coming into this game beat up?  Is Cincy and their head coach distracted?

I expect a sloppy game.  So when in doubt…

Pitt + the points.

Arizona @ #18 USC

2:30 PM / ABC / Line: USC by 7

Can USC play when there’s nothing to play for?  Is Arizona too beat up?

USC covers.

 

A.C.C. Championship

#10 Georgia Tech vs Clemson

7:00 PM / ESPN / Line: Geo Tech by 1

Much like Tiger Woods’ image, a lot of the luster was knocked off this game last weekend.  Both teams got blown out by their SEC rivals, and both defenses looked like they took the day off.

I don’t like either pick here, as I don’t trust either defense.  But I believe Georgia Tech got caught napping more than Clemson, and that’s why they looked so bad last weekend (after looking so good in October and November before that).

Georgia Tech covers.

 

Big 12 Championship

#22 Nebraska vs. #3 Texas

7:00 PM / ABC / Line: Texas by 14

Everybody sees the same thing: Nebraska has a great defense, but Texas has a good offense AND good defense (while Nebraska’s offense sucks pond water).  And it’s true.

This is the classic example of a team having a puncher’s chance in Nebraska.  I think it would be accurate to say that very few people outside of Austin believe that Texas will just run away with this thing right from the start.  However, I guarantee that most people wagering on Texas feel great about a back-door cover.

I am one of those people.

Texas covers.

 

National Game of the Week

S.E.C. Championship

#1 Florida vs #2 Alabama

3:00 PM / CBS / Line: Fla by 5.5

Last weekend ‘Bama barely sneaked past rival Auburn, while Florida absolutely crushed their soul-less rival Florida State.  In this case, ‘Bama learned a LOT more about themselves than Florida did.

‘Bama + the points.

———-

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

GO HAWKS!

-Jeffrey the Greek!