Hello football fans!!!
NON-FOOZEBALL:
Sorry (once again) for the no-show last week! I was in Pennsylvania for work – where my company’s corporate office is at – and they had me and 9 other guys bottled up from 7:00am until 10:00pm Monday – Friday. My free time was spent sleeping!
And now? I’m in Chicago for the entire week! I figured out that by the end of this 31-day month, I will have only slept in my bed 7 times for the entire month…and none of those nights away from home had anything to do with my passing out by a dumpster in an alley! (That was in September.)
In the movie “Dumb and Dumber”, Lloyd Christmas unforgettably said that “…some people just aren’t cut out for life on the road…” and I’m starting to wonder if that’s the case with myself. Because I pretty much eat out every lunch and dinner, so I feel bloated 24/7, I’m starting to get cranky, and I get confused; when I got home on Saturday, I tried to enter my bedroom door by sliding my credit card through an imaginary slot!
When you travel this much the smallest things that go your way are AWESOME; I made it back to my room just in time to watch “House” and I almost creamed my pants. Also, you start to want things a specific way in your room. I always ask for a smoke-free room (obviously) and was a little perturbed when I checked in on Monday and it smelled like…umm…I’m not sure. I hadn’t un-packed yet, so I called down to the front desk and asked if I could change rooms.
Her: “Why do you want to change rooms?”
Me: “Because I want a non-smoking room.”
Her: “Sir, all of our rooms are non-smoking.”
Me: “Huh. Ok. Then I want one that wasn’t non-smoking before you made it non-smoking.”
Her: “This hotel has been non-smoking since it was built four years ago.”
Me: “Hmmm. Then why does it smell like burnt dog hair in here?”
Her: “Hahahahaaaaa.”
Looking back, it was funny…but I’m not joking! I’m typing this right now and I’m still in the same hotel room and I swear to all that is holy that the cleaning lady is having a séance on Scooby-Doo everyday while I’m gone. I’m pretty sure it’s coming from some over-cooked popcorn in the microwave, but that’s just a guess. It’s like “THE SMELL!!!” from that “Seinfeld” episode where Jerry can’t sell his car because it stinks so badly. I’m pretty sure Marriott is going to need a young priest and an old priest to exorcise the demon that now possesses room 130.
I’m home all of next week (to vote, and also clean roughly 22 pounds of my roommate’s dog’s hair out of my house).
WEEK 10 (Slow down season!):
A little bit on the Wisconsin game.
Great win, GREAT day by Shonn Greene, our defense, and pretty much every other facet of the team. It wound up being a great day for weather, and a great day to be a Hawk all-around.
Once again, we saw that if we hold onto the ball…we are something special. Granted, Wisconsin was in a funk whey they played us, but they got out of that soon after by playing a Ron Zook coached football team. And Kirk Ferentz needed to beat Bret “Textual Intercourse” Bielema. So make no mistake…that was a good win for our team and as it turns out…a HUGE win for our bowl chances.
Iowa Hawkeyes @ Illinois Fighting Illini
(2:30 PM / ABC / Line: Illini by 2.5)
Once again, my brother Daron and I were guessing the line on this game and once again I nailed it. However, I could have seen the exact same number…but in our favor. What’s moving that line towards Illinois is this:
- Illinois is at home.
- Iowa is not.
- People still think Illinois is better than what they actually are.
- People still think Iowa is worse than we actually are.
- Illinois has been looking towards this game.
- Ron Zook is a coaching genius.
- (Just kidding on that last one.)
This is – I swear – the 7th “Swing Game” of this crazy season. Why? Because at this point in the year we’re all asking the same question(s): Are we going to a bowl game (and) if we do what kind of bowl game can we expect to make? If we are even THINKING about making a New Year’s Day game…this is a game we HAVE TO WIN.
The non X’s and O’s are very interesting in this game. The “Revenge Factor” is in Illinois’ favor, they’re at home, and you could certainly make a case that they need this game more than we do! On the other hand, we have better coaches and we’re riding a winning streak and they’ve been struggling almost all year.
NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT! STATS AT THE BOTTOM!
IF you peak down, you see that Illinois is winning games by scoring a lot of points, and Iowa is winning games by not letting teams score a lot of points. Don’t be mistaken: Illinois has a potent offense, and Iowa has a tough defense. It’s the classic example of the unstoppable force meets an immovable object.
Game:
As usual, I’m confused.
At some point in the year – Shonn Greene will be held under 100 yards for a game. It’s going to happen. It just has to. And I swear this game stinks like it’s going to be that game. Why? Because everybody is expecting it to be next week against Penn State, the Illini rush defense is not very good, and it makes perfect sense for Greene to go off. However, sports history tells me that’s USUALLY when the opposite happens. But honestly, I have no other clues to think that he won’t go off besides that silly reason.
But the question remains – after 2 weeks of GREAT play-calling my O’keefe – aren’t we due for him to think too much and try to come out throwing? And here’s an even crazier one for your noodle: Do we actually need to do that?
Bear with me, as I don’t REALLY want us to come out chucking the ball around when Shonn Greene is making a run at the Doak Walker award. I love to watch my football team(s) run the ball down the other team’s throat. However, we could REALLY make D-coordinators think if we give a look that Stanzi can tear you apart if he has to. OR…has he already proven to be a threat?
Like I said, I’m confused. I’m over-thinking too much. (Will my teeth start to go crooked now?)
But I DO know that if we come out and run the ball down their throat like we’ve done all year, we’ll be just fine. The best thing that could happen is for us to extinguish that fire that Illinois has against Iowa and the Zooker has against Ferentz by stompin’ on their dick right away.
SIDENOTE: Since I’m batting .1000 when I predict Iowa to lose (and they go onto win) I’m really at a loss if I’m supposed to predict a loss the rest of the way to help us out. I don’t want to do that, so for this week I defer to the stats. This is the exact score that Iowa’s Offensive/Defensive PPG vs. Illinois’ Offensive/Defensive PPG plays out:
Iowa Hawkeyes 28 - Illinois Fighting Illini 23
Week 10 “Precarious Predictions”
YTD NCAA Record 27-25-6
Last Week (2 weeks ago) 5-4
Iowa ATS 3-4
Games of note – 7 games predicted (including Iowa):
Saturday
Northwestern @ #17 Minnesota – 11 AM / ESPN2 / Line: Minn by 7.5
Both Bacher and Sutton are out. Northwestern is on the road, in a dome, still licking it’s wounds from last week against Indiana. I don’t get why the line is even this low.
Gophers cover.
Wisconsin @ #21 Michigan St – 11 AM / ESPN / Line: MSU by 5.5
Still too early to tell if Wisconsin has pulled outta their funk. There’s no doubt in my mind that Michigan State is the better team, but I guess I just see this being a close game and I like the points.
Badgers and the points.
ISU @ #9 Oklahoma St – 2:30 PM / ABC / Line: OK St by 31
You’ll never guess what happened this year…ISU played its best game against the Hawks! Wow! Boy does ISU stink
OK St covers.
Nebraska @ #4 Oklahoma – 7 PM / ESPN / Line: OK by 22
I don’t think Nebraska is that bad, and I don’t think Oklahoma is that good. If this is a cover for Oklahoma, it will be a late cover and I like the odds.
Nebraska and the points.
#1 Texas @ #7 Texas Tech – 7 PM / ABC / Line: Texas by 3.5
It’s almost stupid to even look at the spread on this game for anything that’s less than 7 points. Who do you think will win? Who has the most pressure on them? I think Texas Tech does, and until I see somebody slow down Texas and Colt Mccoy – I’m not going against them.
Texas covers.
Game of the Week:
#8 Florida @ #6 Georgia – 2:30 PM / ABC / Line: Florida by 6.5
First off – I wish this was the night game and not at the same time as the Iowa game, because I REALLY want to watch this blood-bath.
You have to just look at this at a simple as can be: Florida is PO’d. Florida is healthier. Florida is better.
Florida covers.
N ational F ootball L eague
- The Giants beat the Steelers last week. (Giggle) In that game Ben Reoadsahtajkhayburger threw 4 interceptions. (Giggle, Giggle) This Thanksgiving my brother has to wear a Giants shirt for one hour in front of my family. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO HAWKS!
-Jeffrey the Greek!
IOWA VERSUS Illinois STATS (through 9 weeks):
Iowa Illinois
Offense
Offensive Scoring:
40th (30 ppg) 26th (34 ppg)
Total Offense:
44th (385 ypg) 11th (462 ypg)
Rushing:
22nd (195 ypg) 26th (190 ypg)
Passing:
86th (190 ypg) 16th (272 ypg)
Defense
Defensive Scoring:
5th (11 ppg) 75th (27 ppg)
Total Defense:
20th (298 ypg) 62nd (352 ypg)
Rushing
22nd (106 ypg) 76th (152 ypg)
Passing
39th (192 ypg) 52nd (200 ypg)
Posted by Jeff Buch 
